Tag Archives: draft

Matt Stafford vs. A Real NFL Career.

Quick question: if you wanted to have a successful life playing pro football, who would you most want to be?

Georgia quarterback standout and likely #1 2009 draft pick Matt Stafford?

Hell, no.

This poor Stafford kid, I kind of feel for him.  He’s about to get picked up by the Detroit Lions – the lowliest team in the history of the NFL – and he’s gonna wither on the vine there like a grape left after wine season.  

The Lions have nothing at all going for them – nothing.  They’re coming off an 0-16 season, worst in NFL history, and a steady streak of ruined QBs.  They’re like the girl who chews up boyfriends and spits them out.  Don’t believe me?  Ask Jon Kitna, who got sacked an amazing 63 times there during hist first season with them in ’04.  Or Daunte Culpepper.  Or Joey Harrington.

The guy has no offense at all to support him, and as a rookie QB, he needs better or else his career will be shorter than the line for O’Douls on Super Bowl Sunday.  

Be that as it may, at least he can get comfortable with the knowledge that he’s in for a fat payday, regardless of how short his career is going to be with Detroit.  The last four number 1′s – Alex Smith, Mario Williams, JaMarcus Russel, and Jake Long – signed contracts with payouts averaging over $50 million each.

At least he’s trying to sound the part.  In an interview earlier this week, the kid said that he is really excited about being a Lion.

Earth to Matt: nobody is excited about being a Lion.  Guys currently on the team don’t even tell their moms when they’re on TV.  I heard one of the linebackers even tells his wife that he lost his job and is working at the local McDonald’s.  

Says she respects him more now.