Tag Archives: Happy Thanksgiving

China Cabinet

You can look, but don’t touch, and never eat
from the surface of what’s inside this carved
wooden centerpiece, glass pane fronted to
display ceramic patterns with gorgeous
inlay, expensive, or at least old, or
probably both, the whole situation
susceptible to swift devastation
via an earthquake, a stiff breeze, or an
overactive rug rat’s run, bump, and smash.
(“Honest, it fell over when the door slammed!”)
The intersection of form and function,
but one of the roads is closed except for
special occasions, a dedicated
parade route; giant box of horns to toot.

On the Origin of Reese’s

by Means of Natural Selection, or
the Preservation of Favored Tastes in
the Struggle for Life

1—Variation Under Domestication

Peanut butter cups
are eaten in many different ways,
depending on the home in which the cup
is found.

2—Variation Under Nature

A peanut butter cup eaten
outdoors becomes soggy in the rain,
but melts if left for too long in the sun.

3—Struggle for Existence

The first cups were made by H. B. Reese back
in 1928, but he merged with
the Hershey Company in ’63.

4—Natural Selection

You might enjoy Big Cups, but your sister
might prefer Dark Chocolate, or even
NutRageous bars.

5—Laws of Variation

People do not enjoy
their preferred peanut butter cups by chance,
but due to some predisposed condition.

6—Difficulties on Theory

But then, should there not be an infinite
number of peanut butter cup types and
varieties?

7—Instinct

That’s my gut reaction.

8—Hybridism

There are indeed many varieties:
White Chocolate, Caramel, Inside Out,
the cute little mini-cups.

9—On the Imperfection of the Geological Record

It’s quite hard
to keep track of every single cup
you’ve ever eaten.

10—On the Geological Succession of Organic Beings

You may not know this,
but there are actually other types
of candy in the world, and some even
contain peanut butter and chocolate.

11—On Geographical Distribution

I hear those Cadbury guys make a mean
fruit and nut bar.

12—On Geographical Distribution continued

It is interesting
to note, however, that Hershey’s holds a
license to manufacture Cadbury
chocolate products in the USA.

13—Mutual Affinities of Organic Beings: Morphology: Embryology: Rudimentary Organs

Good chocolate is just good chocolate.

14—Recapitulation and Conclusion

Almost all confections today retain
a common sugary ancestor, and
many still claim direct descent from milk,
cocoa beans, and George Washington Carver.